Women's fate depend on customs

 Customs are those norms or values that are moving from generations to generations without any positive change in them.Man is slave of customs that are trigger down from generations to generation.Women especially become the victim of this custom.They are treated unequally from the very first day of birth Men considered women as their property and pay them only that value they they pay to the sandal .

They wear in their feet.The safety of  women is always remain questionsable in Pakistani society especially in tribal areas.

Men always considered women for the reason of their failure and loss in life and when men achieve something in life because of men they get all credit on themselves

Even male took the credit of their well behaved kids.but blame to the women for any negativity found in kids.

Exploitation of women is the issue found everywhere in the worlds but in Pakistani rural society it is on its worse

They works day and night,daytime in the fields and at night their homes for their survival  but still they cannot get the reward.Somewhere they don't even have right to speak,right to vote,right to get education and right of basic facilities.Women is deprived of everything.

Trash Talking

During custody battles, parents hurl torrid accusations at each other forgetting that their children are listening. Ultimately No matter what the situation is, Custody battles always leave an indelible mark on children. Such children have according to psychiatrists, certain symptoms that can mar childhood. These includes nightmares, headache, nausea, abdominal pains, and many other social and academic decline. The stress endured during a custody battles can be debilitating for a child

  These battles among parents totally disturb the children's activities which were keen interesting to them once. Beside such physical problems, behavioral changes are also witnessed by others. These kind of children are mostly shy, aggressive or fearful.Children do not want to go to school and refuse to sleep alone, Because of psychological fear. If parents got separated that time was extremely tough for the kids as they have to choose one of their parents. In such cases children choose one for which they consider their future is more secure, otherwise they have to live with the dominated parent. whether they want to live or not. I witnessed a case of such a kid whose parents got divorced after a lot of worst time passed together. The kid who was a brilliant student of his class started paying little attention to studies, and gradually left to go school. 

When I asked him the reason of leaving the school, He told he is not strong to answer people's questions about his parents, though it is not his fault but he has to bear what his parents commit. Both parents are important and the loss of either one can be cause of disturbance. Parent's rude behavior with each other creates many complexities in their children life. 

The parents who blame each other on small issues of daily life, their children become disturbed and they can not able to overcome perfect behaviors. They lack the abilities to bring stability into their Lives. Parents should avoid custody battles in front of their kids. Be happy for making your whole generation happy

Academic Freedom

Academic freedom refers to the freedom of choosing subjects, freedom of getting education of your own choice and freedom of profession you want to join.

In this century where we are facing the problem of poor understanding between parents and their children, there is lack of communication between them exists too, and this led their future towards the darkness.

Some parents in our society are too conscious about their children’s education even this extra consciousness is not necessary; they should give freedom to their children of choosing the subjects of their own interest, they enforce them to choose medical or engineering while their children are interested in Arts or some kind of computer subjects and they do not bother the choice of their children, in other side some parents are too careless about the education of their 

children and they do not bother what they are studying and what they want in their future regarding their profession, this is not freedom in fact , this is carelessness.

Parents should concern about their children’s academics, their choices, their wishes and their field they want to join in the future. They should give freedom of choice in academics to their children but not let them free to do whatever they want, they must keep an eye on them so that they abide by the choice they made. Parents should help their children in making their choice right and follow their dream of profession towards reality.

Academic freedom from the parents give their children confidence,a state of trust develop between them, this led them towards strong bonding.And their relationship also gets strong. Parents should understand this fact that academic freedom is the right of their children and they should never snatch this freedom from their children.It can leave negative impact on them in present but also in future.Parents who are concerned as well as understanding about the psyche of their children and give them freedom of choice in their academics gets splendid results in the end, in a form of successful professionals and proud members of the society. 

Incest

Women insecurities are always there. in east, west, north and south everywhere. They have to face many dilemmas throughout the life on every stage of life there is a worse challenge awaiting for. The one and the most graven sin , these days in most of the countries is incest (Zina or zina bil jabr with mehram-blood relationship ). Especially in Asian countries like Pakistan and India. Usually adolescent or a child (girl ) is the victim of this satanic act by some elder member of family.













Unfortunately since past two years the rate of incest is increasing rapidly but statistically it is not shown because these cases are rarely reported due to the threats imposed on victim. If somehow she approaches reliable person for disclosure, it consequently results nothing because there  come prestige problem of family which is quite far more important then the prestige of a girl. In some cases because of incest she has to face allegations of abuse. If the case is taken to the court I feel myself drowned when I see no justice in Courts. Victim in many cases commits suicide or suffers Post TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDERS AND RAPE TRUMA SYNDROME throughout their life. Recently a case came forthwith the issue of being sexually abuse by a father. Girl's mother committed suicide because of the issue. I ask what these courts for harassment and RAPE and Child protection buero are doing if not providing justice??? Many NGOs are trying to do something in this regard but the result is not satisfectory. just because of the fear found in victim that they inherit from elder women of family.



Incest was not as swear in the past as it is nowadays. But some germs of it were always present in society. The penalty of Zina should be  capital punishment in the state.Atleast the person who commit this crime should be punished stricktly so that it would be lesson for all others to think for a while before committing such sins. Women have always exploited in the name of WEAK gender. The abuser May get freedom in the world but on the day of resurrection in front of Allah , will be rewarded. At the end it is a request to parents and to be parents. Kindly be a good protector of this innocent creature. Keep eye on her. Be her friend and teach her to protect herself. If she discloses a matter, sought it out give her support and strength.Provide them such environment so that they can easily disclose if such harassment is happening to them.

Allah definitely loves the  one who loves his/her daughter!

Relations

There are three types of relations we have in this

 1. Relation by Birth( Parents Siblings)

 2. Relations we made by ourselves ( friends )

3. Relations God made for us ( By Marriage )

We are attached emotionally and spiritually with all these relations. but with the passage of time we got to know that who are our real well wishers, infact it can easily be understood we if we start thinking and writing about one relation at a time.

Relations by Birth: This is a relation between our parents and our siblings, we can call it an intimate relation sometimes our siblings get rude with us but parents are two kind personalities of world who never feel hatred for us never scold us from their heart, if they punish, that would just for our right, parents are the most modest creature of God on the earth that they never deceive us never leave us when nobody cares about us our parents do.

Relation we made by ourselves: we are social animals and cannot live alone in this society so we need friends to share our emotional feelings and to pass our time the

would be memorable for the future, but there are only few people who are fortunate about this matter and have trust worthy and sincere friends, this all depends on the luck of the person that some found very good friends in their lives that lasts forever and some have bitter experiences of friendship in their lives. Although this relation is not intimate and it has certain limitations too after that it ends or become limited to some extent.

Relation God made for us: After a specific age spent with our family and friend there comes a time where we get marry and have a relation of two bodies and one soul, it is a beautiful relationship no doubt if somebody find a great companion life becomes heaven on earth but in a same time if somebody find a bad partner life become hell. It all depends on luck too or its all in the Hands of God Almighty, what we have is because of certain reasons, some are well known reasons and some are hidden from our eyes.

Life Miseries

Sometimes its hard to accept the miseries of life until we see with our own eyes, or to experience them. There are certain miseries which give us lesson for lifetime, while some ruin us and give no way to escape from them. life miseries can be a big quarrel with our friends, a failure in the way of studies, and some sort of sadness comes because some one leave us on the wrong time, all this become the miseries of our lives and don't find way to get escape from them.

People fight with their miseries, some take a step forward alone and some gather a group to fight with their miseries. In both of the cases learning process still remains with them. problems are the part of life and if we have smooth life then we forget the blessings and we don't know the real meaning of happiness, in other words the happiness came after the misery bring uncountable happiness on the face of the person.

People try to overcome their problems with different techniques, some share their feelings with others, some try to eat more than the routine, some listen to the music, some play games, its all depends upon the psychology of human what suits best to him he done that.

Miseries can be of two form some are sudden and we don't understand how they came to us, and some are because of the matters we leave uncompleted. But all that realize us our presence in the world, socially we are occupied by different people and different matters are included in our daily life so in results consequences are also different and we have to face them.

we can challenge these miseries through our will power and we may conform because of it, but what matters is to face it lively and get rid of it, if we see our surroundings, we get to know that people are often most difficult to understand and in fact they are miserable in their own selves, what we have to do in this situation is to get involve and solve the problem.

in nutshell, we can say that life are full of miseries but what our character in this situation matters a lot to change these miseries into ever healthy learning experiences of life.

Unique Problems of Youth

Youth refers to the age group of teen and people of at least 25 years old. There are certain problems exists in the life of teen agers on which no body concentrates, e.g Parent's less concerned, Friends deception, Teacher's scolding behavior etc. but what torn them is the deception of friends and the least concentration of parents towards them.

Sometimes youth faces these problems in extremely pessimistic way which leads them towards the dark side of life, they tried to commit suicide and sometimes they try to leave whole that environment of their surroundings and leave the place they live. Nobody understand the problems of youth because they consider them as children and does not take them seriously.

Now a days the trend has been prevailing in our society that youth wants freedom of everything. they want nothing from people but freedom, freedom of expression, freedom to live, freedom of doing anything without distortion. Although it is not possible because some of the parents are conscious about the freedom of doing anything by their children. But when these children wants attention from their parents , wants time from them they do not have for them, which puts negative impact on them.

There must be a physical relationship between parents and their children, a sort of hug, a kiss on the cheeks and a sound sleep on a lap , will help to make the relationship far better and strong, and this might decrease the problems  youth face lonely, may be this kind of relationship allow them to share all of the problems with parents and they tried to sort out them.



Youth face different problems when they start growing towards their growing age of maturity.they feel shy to share their problems with their parents, that is why there must be bonding like a cement between youth and their parents so they feel free to share their all problems with their parents and in this way no problem could stand in front of them.